7.02.2015

Swept Away


This Bilbo quote seems to encompass my life lately. Lots of changes, lots of stress, lots of the unknown. Every time I "step outside my door" I seem to get swept away here and there and none of those places are this little space of mine.

It's July now. Less than a month until we get married. I'm a creature of habit and this month will be completely shaking that up. Making tons of phone calls when I usually avoid any phone conversations. Preparing myself to have all eyes on us when I normally stick to being a wallflower. Gearing up for flying again... Thats a big one. I don't know if its getting older or what but I've developed a bit of a flight anxiety. It never used to bother me and now (like a child) I need to have scores of things to keep me busy and not thinking about being in an airplane. I nearly passed out during a wee panic attack last time. Woozy, light-heated, hot and cold at the same time, hyper-ventilating, numb hands and face. The people in the seat across from me looked very concerned. I was fine but it leaves a bit of a bad taste in your mouth. A kind of will it or won't it happen again? Oh well, it is dangerous business going out your door after all.

On a lighter note everything for the wedding seems to be coming together. That huge monkey that has been on my back (aka sewing the dress) has finally been lifted. Thank the heavens!! I had a tall glass of celebratory wine while I revelled in netflix (The Bletchley Circle, X-files, and Sherlock... again) and not having to do anything for the rest of the day! It turned out good. The nitty-gritty isn't perfect. There's a wonky part to my hem and such but no one is going to notice that. One part on the back is slightly uneven but I was passed the point of caring and with my hair being down it will cover that whole area anyway. If I had to take the seam-ripper out one more time for a mistake I may have just kept ripping. Did I mention I was happy to be done?? ;)

Well before this turns into more of a block of typed ramblings from me I will stop. I think I will take the rest of the month off. Enjoy the last bit of wedding coordination and, of course, the actual day without the added pressure of finding time for this narrative. Before I know it it will all be over and I certainly want to live in the moment right now.

-I'll be back in August to bore everyone with the details! Haha

This photo is from my phone the other morning. Some wild clouds were rolling in while the sun rose behind them.


7 comments:

  1. It will all go well, you'll see! I cross my fingers for you and hope you'll have a wonderful time!

    By the way, I have the same problem with flight anxiety. I don't know when it started, but it made me to avoid flying for the past 5 years. And I don't like that, althoug I tell myself that it's healthy to not fly so much and it's also good for the environment. But I hate it to be governed by my fear, if you know what I mean. So, it's good that you'll fly again soon, because avoiding it is not the solution. And don't be afraid of passing out. The crew will know how to make you comfortable again. And what the other people think doesn't matter! :)

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    1. Thank you Nancy! Not long to go now!
      High-fives for having flight anxiety. It's weird when it comes out of nowhere. It's like a physical reaction when the rational part of my brain is like Come on, get it together! haha. I think it would definitely stop me from taking long flights and you're right. It is kinda sad to think about what your missing out on just because your scared. I definitely find night flights better!

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  2. i am looking forward to your wedding photos! hope you will be able to relax before wedding and have a wonderful time on the very day! <3<3<3

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    1. Thank you! I am looking forward to getting back on here but needed a little bit of balance in life!

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  3. Dear Shy, I wish you a wonderful wedding! I hope you'll be able to leave all the anxiety behind and have the time of your life instead!
    I completely understand the way you feel about flying, by the way; I never felt that way when I was younger, but now I do... I hope you'll feel ok and the flight will go smoothly.

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    1. Thank you Polly! I have downloaded some relaxing savasana meditations onto my phone just in case I need to redirect my focus during the flight. I don't know what it is about getting older that's changed. I never gave a second thought to it as a young-in!

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  4. Oh my gosh, you & me both. Hate flying, I'm usually a mess, but always make it through. Thankfully, with my nerves in tact! ;) And I remember feeling so much of the same right before our wedding. Wishing you all the best, it's all going to work out wonderfully, girly! Big hugs & kisses from BC!!

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